The cacophony of anxiety

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The cacophony of anxiety
​
The room
is cacophony
The noise
the lights
the people
the movement
the noise
the room
Everyone's staring


Muscles tense
involuntary
I notice only because
my knuckles
are past-white
almost translucent
as my hand hides
a green foam ball
tightly inside its
palm cave


Body shakes
in response
Constant trembling
unable to catch
a breath
while heart
reminds sternum
and rib cage
it could beat
hard enough
to pummel its way
out of
my chest
anytime it chooses



Throat closes
teeth clench
jaw locks
eyes freeze
eyes close
they see nothing
they see everything
they are frozen
I am frozen
I am thawed
I feel it all
and nothing
I know the name
of this...
feeling
sensation
mind body soul
brain heart blood
muscles nerves thoughts
whole being
experience


Welcome to
anxiety
population me
and simultaneously
not


Copyright Becca Doss, 2017