This feels a little surreal to write. The title isn’t 100% accurate, I’m slightly over halfway through, but I have made it through my half vials without having to lower or skip a dose. As a reminder, in the past, I was only able to get 1-2 drops max before the herxing was intolerable and I was making no progress because of my body’s inability to detox.
The past 2 and a half weeks have definitely been full of herxing–it’s been nearly constant, with a couple brief reprieves, and we’ve also been dealing with significant grief in the house as we had to say good-bye to our grey tuxedo cat, June, 8 days ago. (I won’t write much about this now because I don’t want to cry, but we’re slowly going through the grieving process, but that’s added to the overall stress on us both, mentally and physically, so I wanted to mention it. The house doesn’t feel the same, and this is coming from a person who didn’t realize my dog-person self had become a dog- AND cat-person, until it was too late to enjoy my time with her. But that doesn’t even hold a candle to the loss Roger is feeling, because he was her entire world, and in many ways, she was his.).
More on the nature of the herxes below.
Today, Sunday November 10, I took half of vial 6
As I readjust to the constant herxing nature of this treatment (I still wholeheartedly think it’s one of the best out there but I legally have to say I’m not a doctor, just a longtime fighter, who has tried so many meds, supplements, herbs, IVs, procedures, and so many other therapies and treatments over the past...well, a very long time. Also, this is 100% not sponsored, I just truly believe in this treatment), I’m learning that either:
1.) I’m much better at enduring these herxes and pushing through these half-vial doses–even though the pain and other symptoms seem insurmountable at times right now–simply because I’ve had to learn to endure what I thought many years ago would kill me, but hasn’t.
2.) The IV antibiotics and the antimalarials did enough in the 6 months to knock down bacteria to a degree, and that is also helping me endure half-vial doses and subsequent herxes, whereas in years past, I was only able to take 1-2 drops at a time, every 5 days, instead of half a vial (~15 drops?) every 3 days, as mentioned above.
REGARDLESS, we know one thing is true:
N-U-T-R-I-T-I-O-N has absolutely been a key factor, regardless of what else has contributed to my ability to endure.
And, of course, all credit goes to God regardless of the other factors, because He put them all into motion. After all these years (15+) of fighting anorexia, I’m finally in a kind of-decent place in recovery even though triggers can still send my mind into a pretty dark place, but I’m rejoicing for the lifesaving GJ tube that has kept me alive and helped me regain much needed (100% unintentionally and NOT ED-related) lost weight last summer before we discovered gastroparesis.
I’m not happy in the disordered way of “Oh yeah, I’m sick enough to need a feeding tube,” but rather in the “Thank you, Lord, for a device that can help me until my body can once again absorb adequate nutrients orally” way ... and I can’t wait till that day now that I’m slowly making recovery progress.
As far as the herxing goes, it’s been all over the place. One vial may trigger more nerve pain and trigeminal neuralgia flares along with more intense than usually eye and ear pain, one vial may result in GI herxing: bloating, distension, and I’m pretty sure there’s some kind of small sentient being living in my intestines, making roaring sounds at will. Sometimes I’m flat in bed, unable to turn over due to joint pain, and others my herx manifests in the form of an extra headache or migraine that forces me to keep my head under the pillow.
Basically, there’s no rhyme nor reason yet, and that’s because I’m still readjusting, and the wide array of herx symptoms occurs because of the sheer variety of symptoms Lyme and co-infections can cause. So I’m detoxing as much as I can (burbur and pinella, activated charcoal, coffee enemas, dry brushing, etc.), and just taking it and making it one day at a time.
Two weeks ago tomorrow, Rog and I had a car date night, went and saw the autumn leaves, and sat at the park for a while (in the car). He got out for a bit to let Lucy look around the dog park, but it got cold fast and I ended up wearing down, but it was a night full of laughs, which was needed with the unexpected weekend that was ahead of us.
Tuesday, November 6, through a lot of pain and tears (and medication and supplements and kratom pain relief), I was able to physically go with Roger to the polls and vote!
We then seized my brief adrenaline burst and immediately went to shop for our Operation Christmas Child shoebox items. I lasted about an hour total on Tuesday, and even though it was painful and I was pushing through fatigue, I enjoyed the time with Rog...and he goofed off a bit while shopping.
Other than that, you can find me here in bed or at the doctor’s office. We travel to Tennessee on the 28th for an appointment on the 29th, so we’ll see how everything’s going by then. Trusting God the whole way, even when it herx...uh, I mean...hurts. ;-)