I wanted to share my latest Vlog Every Day in April (VEDA) entry with y'all since I do talk about my current experience with the DesBio Homeopathic Series Therapy for Bartonella. Info in video below.
Durinf this time in which I'm not able to write anywhere near as well as I can at my healthiest, and as well as I'd like to be able to in order to keep th s blog updated regularly, I ask you, in earnest, to please try to stick with me, and hopefully the video entries will help fill the gap where writing ability is currently not found.
I wanted to share a poem I wrote a few months ago. I lost track of it, amidst the 200-plus notes I have typed on my phone, and just rediscovered it recently. This will also be uploaded (just the poem, not this lead-in/description/introduction).
My intent was to convey what it's like feeling part of an anxiety attack in the moment. Or experiencing anxiety in and of itself, whether it's a full-blown attack or not. I don't mean it to be depressing; but y'all know I'm a major fan of keeping it real, so that's what I did here.
Real. Raw. Uncensored.
And this only scrapes the surface, as many of you can likely attest. But alas, an important message all the same, because if you are living with anxiety, know this:
You are NOT alone. I understand. I see you.
The cacophony of anxiety
I notice only because
as my hand hides
a green foam ball
tightly inside its
unable to catch
and rib cage
it could beat
to pummel its way
anytime it chooses
they see nothing
they see everything
they are frozen
I am frozen
I am thawed
I feel it all
I know the name
mind body soul
brain heart blood
muscles nerves thoughts
Copyright Becca Doss, 2017
I always feel a need to apologize when I become notoriously slow in posting updates on this website, even though one New Year's resolution for me was to stop apologizing so much. Oh well...guilty as charged on this one!
I wanted to share some news with you all. Back in November I started a YouThe channel; I'm not very active (YET), due to physical and mental inability, but while my channel is going to cover a wide array of topics, it's also going to include videos about my journey with Lyme and co-infections from this point forward (and I'm sure at some point I'll do a "Here's my whole story," video, but that's for the future).
A big reason for doing this is because, even though I've never really been a VISUAL learner, and while I've always preferred to read and write (and when I'm not hindered, I really don't mean this to sound like bragging, but I can usually write pretty well), but with my current state of cognitive dysfunction, writing and typing have become exponentially harder, along with word recall, the energy to hold a thought for a full sentence, and many more symptoms which make typing or writing difficult.
So, since I don't ever want this website to just be lost in the internet archives to eventually be a relic that offers help to no one, I decided to incorporate my video posts more here.
Now that I'm mentioning YouTube, I feel like I posted something short about it in the winter, but I don't remember 100% as I'm typing this. Sorry if it's repetitive.
Without further ado, here's a video I posted for SSSVEDA (Vlog Every Day in April). I haven't succeeded at EVERY day vlogging yet, but being able to post at all is both a miracle and also therapy for me...and hopefully encouraging to others, as well.